The Sandbox Didn’t End in Elementary School! It Just Got a Paycheck.

Before you ever walk into work, whether it’s a Zoom call or a boardroom, you’re already bringing your childhood self with you. And if you’re not careful, that’s the version of you who ends up running the meeting.

And the workplace isn’t any different. The sandbox didn’t end in elementary school. It just got paychecks. You still see the bully. The over-sharer. The quiet one. The cautious one. The same patterns, just taller bodies and bigger titles.

We Are All Boss Baby!

Honestly? We’re all a little bit like Boss Baby. You know, the baby that walks around with a suit case with occasional childlike tendencies. But for us, we are adults in bigger bodies, toggling between authority and our child selves. And when we let that child self-run the meeting or lead the conflict, it’s still just Boss Babies fighting in the sandbox… except now there’s money, power, and authority on the line.

Childhood shaped you more than you realize. The way you tie your shoes. The way you solve problems. The way you talk to yourself.

Think about the Terrible Twos. Why do we call them terrible? Because kids want what they want, and they want it now. They learn to say no on repeat. Sharing is a struggle. Empathy? Still developing.

Now fast-forward. The world is a playground full of those same kids! Just in bigger bodies, with money, and very little accountability.

And the truth is, childhood doesn’t just give you memories. It gives you patterns.

If you learned to adopt the quiet kid in class, you probably still do it now. If you were taught to share, you likely share as an adult — or you rebelled and swung the other way. If you grew up hearing adults nitpick themselves in the mirror, “Do I look fat in this?”, you probably carried that script into how you talk to yourself.

For me, childhood shaped me into cautious. I grew up with my grandparents and my mom, the most cautious people you’ll ever meet. Fear and anxiety were in the driver’s seat. I’ll never forget my grandfather telling me not to move to Houston for college. His reason? “It’s rough down there. They’ll take your car and put it on cinder blocks.”

And to him, that was enough reason not to go. That cautiousness shaped me. It taught me that risk was dangerous, that playing it safe was the only option. And so, I became cautious too. Overly cautious. The kind of cautious that looks like wisdom but is really fear dressed up.

Fast forward: years later, I became a digital nomad. And suddenly I was doing things the old me never would’ve done. Leaving jobs I knew I could return to. Getting on planes to places I’d never been. Traveling overseas alone for the first time. One friend even said, “Devin, this is not like you.” And he was right — it wasn’t like the old me.

But it was like the me I wanted to be. The me who decided I wasn’t going to let fear call the shots anymore.

That realization became even clearer when I was a teacher. Because in the classroom, you meet every archetype of childhood up close: the bully, the sharer, the cautious one, the class clown. And I had to ask myself… am I letting my own child self-interact with these students?

Because here’s the truth: people say, “Be the adult in the room.” But what happens when you aren’t? What happens when you let your child self-take over? Then it’s not really adult vs. child anymore. It’s child vs. child, except one of you has authority. And that’s not fair.

And the workplace isn’t any different. The sandbox didn’t end in elementary school. It just got paychecks. You still see the bully. The over-sharer. The quiet one. The cautious one. The same patterns, just taller bodies and bigger titles.

So, what do you do with that? Two things.

First, you look inward. Which child are you bringing into the sandbox? Are you letting them run the show, or are you stepping up as the adult?

Second, you look outward. The internet loves to joke, “We don’t ask what’s wrong with people anymore. We ask what happened in their childhood.” And honestly, that perspective builds grace. It doesn’t excuse bad behavior. It doesn’t erase accountability. But it helps you get curious. And that curiosity is the root of emotional intelligence.

Closing

Because when you understand which “child” you’re dealing with, you understand how to navigate the sandbox. Sometimes you find a way to play together. Sometimes you realize these two kids can’t share toys. But either way, you’ve built awareness.

Childhood shaped you. It shaped them too. The real work of adulthood is deciding — are you going to let your child self keep running the sandbox, or will you finally step up as the adult?