What It Looks Like

A new hire walks in, and within days, they realize the workplace you sold them does not match reality.

You told them it was collaborative, but people work in silos.
You told them it was people-first, but there is no flexibility.
You told them it was family, but nobody even knows each other.

That is not a misunderstanding. That is a bait and switch. And the moment it happens, trust breaks.

What It Does to People

When you oversell a workplace, you take away someone’s choice.

They left a steady job. They turned down another offer. They trusted what you said.

And here is the part most leaders never see: they have already told their family they are excited. They have told their friends this is the opportunity they have been waiting for. They have told their nervous system it is safe to let its guard down.

Then they walk in the door, and the truth hits. Their nervous system flips back into high alert. Safety is gone. Trust is gone.

This is not just disappointment. It is betrayal. And betrayal reshapes how people show up. They pull back their voice. They stop taking risks. They stop building trust. It is not just your culture that pays. Their health, their family, and their ability to ever trust leadership again pay too. For some people, the recovery never comes. They just armor up permanently.

Cruise Ship or Dinghy

This is what it feels like.

You sold them on a cruise ship. Smooth sailing, three meals a day, all the amenities.

But when they board, it turns out to be a dinghy. Does a dinghy float? Yes. But it is cramped. It is unstable. And those “three meals a day” you promised? They are three cans of sardines. Even sardine lovers do not want that three times a day.

If you had been honest about the dinghy, they could have chosen. Some people want to fix broken systems. Some people actually thrive in the mess because they want to build something better. But if you sell it as a cruise and hand them a dinghy, that is lying by omission.

Owning the Damage

Withholding is still selling. If you knew and did not say it, you participated in the bait and switch.

So what do you do now?

• Own it. Say, “We should have been clearer.” That is not weakness, it is honesty.

• Acknowledge it. Do not pretend. Pretending keeps the wound open.

• Rebuild trust. You break it, you buy it. And in this case, buying it means putting in the work to earn trust back. Not the employee. You.

Where the Fix Begins

This starts in the hiring process. Stop saying “we are not perfect” and thinking that is enough. Everybody says that.

If you say, “we are not perfect,” you need to follow it with, “but here is what we are doing to fix it.” That is the difference between a vague disclaimer and real honesty.

What are you not perfect at?
Where are you actually trying to improve?
What is the timeline?

That is where SMART goals matter. If you say “we are working on collaboration,” that is not clarity. That is fluff. SMART goals force you to name it: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

For example, “we are improving communication” is fluff. “We will launch cross-team reporting by Q3 and evaluate it every quarter” is a SMART goal.

And let me be clear. If all you want is a cog, this article is not for you.

But if you want someone who can actually help steer, honesty is your best recruiting tool. The right candidate does not get scared by the truth. They get motivated by it.

Some will even get excited. Tell the truth about the dinghy, and the right candidate might say, “Good. I know how to row. I can help steer until we dock and start building a new ship.” That is what honesty does. It filters out the wrong people and draws in the right ones.

Collaboration Requires Purpose

Even if you bring people together, that does not automatically mean collaboration. A calendar invite is not collaboration. Sitting in the same room, virtual or physical, does not guarantee progress.

Collaboration requires purpose. Why are these people gathered? What are they supposed to build, decide, or solve together? Without purpose, it is just noise. With purpose, it becomes progress.

If you want to tell candidates your workplace is collaborative, do not point to your meeting cadence. Point to how teams actually move with intention and how accountability shows up after the meeting. Purpose without action is still noise.

Leaders at Every Level

This responsibility does not stop with managers. Leaders are at every level of an organization, title or not.

If you are part of the interview process, you are representing the workplace. Your honesty matters just as much as the person with the manager title.

This is why letting candidates talk to current employees is so important. Leadership may polish the story, but employees tell the truth. And sometimes that truth is exactly what the right candidate needs to hear: “Our team is talented, but we are struggling with X right now.” That kind of peer honesty carries weight.

A Story That Stuck With Me

When I was teaching, I had a principal who told the staff, “If you do not want to be here, that is okay. I will write you a recommendation and personally call your next employer.”

Was it perfect? No. But I respected it. Because it was accountability. She named the environment for what it was and acted. That is leadership.

Closing

Stop selling yachts when all you have is a dinghy. People deserve honesty before they give up their livelihood. Because once you oversell and underdeliver, you break trust. And when you break it, you own it.

Be honest about the dinghy. Some people will walk away. But the ones who stay will be the ones who want to row with you. And if you would not want it done to you, do not do it to somebody else.